Is it a challenge, or an opportunity for creative growth?
It was night again. In my living room, I sat in silence awaiting the big day. It was a silence I’ve felt before, one that sent chills up my spine filled with uncertainty, fear, and a little bit of excitement. I had a major decision to make. It was major, and it was permanent. Once I decide what to do, I knew there would be no turning back. Or at least… that’s what I thought. So, to pass time I began folding laundry until I fell tired.
At 9am I woke up to a text message — “I’m on my way.” Panic started to set in, I knew the decision making time was near. The panic turned into productivity, somewhat, as I was trying to find a way to somehow prepare? I wasn’t sure if I did enough, or if I could do enough. Soon after, I decided to do nothing but wait.
My guest arrived at 10:30am and I knew my time was up. I had to make the decision, it was now or never. I opened the door, and when they walked in with their tools I knew it was too late to turn back now.
“So, where do you want it?” Instead of answering immediately, I stared off into space, I had a concept of what I wanted. I also knew what I didn’t want, but I didn’t know how to explain it. As my guest brought out their tools, which were sharp, pointy and practically dangerous – they began scooping the scene and then I deferred to their expertise, with minor guidance. After some time, they showed me the options I had – and then I had to make the decision. So, I did.
“Yes, right there is fine. Actually, could you lower it a little bit?” I was proud of myself for assessing the situation, carefully I’d add, and then speaking up to ensure my needs were met. My confidence began to grew, and I knew I was making the right decision. So as my guest got to work drawing, measuring, planning each step carefully before the slashing, splitting, and rupturing began – I decided to busy myself. All was well, until I heard my name.
When my guest called me to view the finished product, my eyes widened and my heart sank. Panic visits again. I knew I had to say something, quick. And so, I did.
“Um. Could we fix it?” It was wrong. It was all wrong. My TV, was mounted wrong. Not wrong in the literal sense, as it was secured and facing upright – thank goodness. But the angle was… wrong. It didn’t look as aesthetically pleasing as I imagined it. I felt betrayed by myself. I was so worried that I’d make the wrong decision, then confident that I was careful and made the right decision, for it to end up being too far… to the right?
My guest, who was skilled in TV mounting, gave me two options. One, to move it but risk viewing holes in the wall as a reminder of what once was. Or two leave it, and be grateful that the wall mount has mobility so I can adjust it whenever I want to view something comfortably.
After sulking and becoming engulfed in despair for some time, I went with option two. Option two also came with negative self talk, which wasn’t the best for this situation, but I just couldn’t believe I made this mistake – especially after countless times where I have done this before and things were… fine. But it wasn’t until another silent night, that turned into an early morning of clarity. I created an option three — find a creative way to work around it. Since I myself, can’t mount a TV (At least, not yet! Surely, after this experience I am determined to learn).
I decided this is an opportunity to accept a challenge. I decided, it’s time to tap into my creativity – on another level. I am many things, and I have many degrees, but interior design isn’t one of them. However, resourcefulness is, and I believe in my creative abilities. After all, I used to teach in underfunded classrooms that looked like prisons, but somehow with a little money, fundrasing, Amazon, Dollar Tree, and Pinterest inspo I managed to make my classroom look like the teacher influencers on Instagram – so surely I can do this with my home. Right? Anyway, I assessed the situation further, and realized if I wanted to move it, I would perhaps only want to move it over by 4 inches. That isn’t a major deal breaker. So challenge accepted. I committed to find creative ways to offset this situation, and make it more aesthetically pleasing.
What started off as a sleepless night, and stress at 5AM, turned into a creative rabbit hole fueled by Pinterest and Interior design blogs at 6AM, and then somewhere in between it turned into this blog post at 7AM. This experience taught me a valuable lesson. Yes, while things could have gone perfect with more planning, and intermittent checks – I believe things went this way for me on purpose. This is all a part of my personal journey. Every little detail. At this stage in my life, I have been called to be more isolated, intentional, and introspective than I have ever been. And I have also been called to aim higher – and this new version of me is calling on my level of creativity to be unlike ever before. A level of creativity I didn’t even know I have, or could have – but I am on a quest to harbor it. The good thing about creativity, that I believe anyway, is that you never run out of it. The more you use and exercise it, the more it grows.
Someone somewhere may view this experience as trivial, as either a “Get over it!” Or “You should’ve given better directions!” Kind of situation. They might even blame the person who mounted it. Whatever, what matters is that I view it as an opportunity for my creative growth. And this is personal, for my development. And what better way to grow creatively than designing your own space? Especially after something goes wrong. Ask any DIY home renovator, they’ll tell you. Sometimes those challenges and accidents, turn into beautiful creative opportunities, stories, and new skills (Or at least that’s what they show on HGTV so I don’t know. Still, we have instagram and I saw similar stories on there too, so that should count… right?). Anyway, when you’re faced with a challenge embrace it. Lean into it. Grow into it. And plus, who knows what challenges I may run into when I own my own beautiful home one day (which I am manifesting – it will happen!). So, I’m fine with making these mistakes now, while I’m a renter, learning from them, and taking the creative lessons with me for future endeavors.
Take care of yourselves. And remember – it’s not a challenge, it’s an opportunity to grow.
For Women With Dreams 