It’s time to be your own hero.
About a year ago I read this article that claimed to reveal the secret to how people keep their house clean, all the time. It was random, I didn’t even search for it. It just popped up in my inbox as a suggested post to read on medium. The timing was perfect though, since my daughter was younger and I was moving out of the phase of “she’s young and exploring!” to “Girl we need some boundaries. No writing on the walls, and clean up after yourself. And also… could I enjoy a clean house for a little longer than an hour? Thanks.”
The tips the article shared said it’s guaranteed to help people keep their home “spotless” without the pressure of having to clean everything up on a Saturday or Sunday morning. The tips wasn’t just that they had a housekeeper, or no children. Instead, they were practical things that we could do daily that just makes sense. One tip was, people who always have a tidy home often clean up daily and immediately. Meaning, dishes aren’t left in the sink overnight. Garbage is thrown out daily. Laundry is done at least twice a week (which I’d add HAS made doing laundry more attainable for me. It’s still dreadful, don’t get me wrong – but better). Anyway, I figured some of the tips were harmless so I figured why not be more intentional about this. (Sunday reset where? HELLO to having my weekends back and NOT full of cleaning.)
The thing about it is, not only do I love a clean home and find cleaning therapeutic – I also just find that my home space should feel… good? It sucks to look around and see a mess. And sometimes its justified, were not perfect and some weeks are just busier than others. There were times when I was living with my partner, and things got messy not just because there were more of us but also because there was a shared responsibility of upkeep, with people on two different times of when the upkeep should be done.
When the article mentioned to not leave dishes in the sink overnight, it didn’t give clear instructions on WHO should do the dishes and WHEN. When both parents have worked all day, and then have to read to the kids, do the homework, prepare for the next school day, make dinner, perhaps attend a school conference, potentially finish up some work at home, and take the kids to gymnastics — it just didn’t specify with perhaps timestamps or energy level needed. And sometimes, when you live with someone you also assume, or discuss, that they would take on some of the responsibility of the upkeep around the home. So as a result, sometimes things got left for the next day, or the next day. Other times, one person ended up taking on most of the load (you could probably guess who, and you’d most likely be right). And often times, the tips in the article just didn’t work for our lifestyle.
After living without my partner for quite some time I realized that the key to keeping my home tidy the way that I want it is… me? While the article gave tips, it was still geared to specific people who wanted a particular lifestyle. It wasn’t a one size fits all kind of thing. And while I’m focusing on the article, I want to hone in on the fact that the article merely suggested habits. Nothing major – just simple habits that one can do and add to their lifestyle. And habits that I have indeed incorporated into this new phase of my life.
Since I enjoy a clean space, no matter how tired I am I wash the dish after it’s being used. I clean the pots once dinner is done. I sweep the floors daily (my daughter doesn’t fail to drop some crumbs on the floor). I do the laundry, more than once a week. I wash the school lunchbox and water bottle the night before. I do it all because I have to — no one is coming here to do it for me. And I do it because it’s building new habits in my home, and new habits that I want to incorporate overall in my lifestyle. The lesson that I’ve learned, about these small habits are making its way into other aspects of my life. It’s also reminding me to teach my daughter these routines — clean up after yourself and create better habits. Take care of your living space, because your living space will pour back into you, and will in turn help you to take care of yourself. And we need more of that in this world.
This lesson is also reminding me that I have to create the conditions that I want for myself. If I want to be in a clean home, I have to set up my home to be that way. If I want to be in a thriving career, I have to create the conditions for myself that will allow me to do so. If I want to have fulfilling relationships around me, I have to have standards for those relationships and be willing to pour into others as much as I’d expect them to pour into me — and I also have to be willing to let go of those who drain my energy. If I want to go to the gym more often, I have to create the conditions and build the habit of doing so (which I’d add I’m being pretty successful at so far). I’m truly learning that whatever I want for myself, it’s up to ME to get it.
While I can’t control everything, and create everything the exact way that I want to — I can control my mindset. I can create the conditions in my mind that serves as a reminder that if there’s anything I want to change, or create in my life, it’s up to me to make that happen. If I ever want better, I have to be better, and have better habits. And it can all start with a simple act of making my bed each day to keeping my commitment of going to the gym — and then it will extend out further to making all the dreams on my vision board come true.
Sometimes, it’s the small habits that help us create bigger opportunities and receive much much more.
For Women With Dreams 