Adult lessons learned from a children’s book
You ever felt helpless? Like you’re trying your best, but somehow you still feel yourself breaking apart inside? And maybe you are literally breaking apart in side. If this is the case, then you’re probably wondering what you should do next. If you are, I’m pretty certain I found the answer… and I got it from a children’s book.
Last night, as I was preparing my daughter for bed, she picked out one of the longest books on her bookshelf. I let out a deep, internal sigh, thankfully one that she couldn’t hear – because I wasn’t sure if she really wanted to read that book or if she just wanted to extend bedtime (parent struggles). Nonetheless, she loves reading, and so do I, so I had to make it work.
The title was random, at least to me. It’s a book I haven’t heard of before. The cover featured a huge egg, with glasses. Nothing too spectacular in my opinion. The title read “The Good Egg” like really? What’s this even supposed to be about, farming? Is she even going to be interested in this? So many questions, I asked in my head, but still showed my excitement for our nighttime read (parents are truly some of the greatest actors).
The book started off slow. Still, I read with great enthusiasm because she didn’t need to know that I wasn’t too into it. It began with an egg, who was in a carton with a bunch of “bad” eggs doing “bad” things, but the main character is the “good egg”. As the story progressed the “good egg” started to crack, because it was bothered by the terrible things the bad eggs were doing (funny how the good egg started to crack, but the bad eggs didn’t, although they were engaging in risky behaviors). Since the Good egg started to crack and get physically and emotionally hurt by the bad eggs behaviors and that environment, it decided to remove itself and focus on healing. It was at that moment when a lightbulb went off in my head. The story went from “what is this?” To “Who made this beautiful proverbial work of art and disguised it as a book for children!?” The Good Egg’s healing consisted of true self care. It ended up reading, journaling, painting, relaxing, and meditating. After healing, the Good Egg was able to return to their bad friends but with this newfound sense of peace and ability to navigate the bad situations.
When we finished the story, I couldn’t help but to enjoy how this book beautifully illustrated the need for self care, and how self care is indeed self preservation (in the wise words of Audre Lorde). The egg had to go away, into isolation, to pour back into themselves and heal. Imagine, if the egg had stayed in those bad situations, what would’ve happened to it? It wouldn’t have made it, that’s for sure. I’m sure my daughter enjoyed the story, but in reality I think it was actually me who needed it the most.
How many times have we ever stayed in a bad situation, hoping for the best, before realizing the best course of action is to leave and take care of ourselves? And that bad situation can range from anything to specific places, being around particular people, working a particular job, or even where you live. And even if we haven’t been in bad situations, how often have we engaged in activities or habits that we know are bad for us? Like I don’t know, perhaps doom scrolling on instagram, constantly checking the news and taking in traumatic experiences, listening to that one miserable person complain over and over about everything from the weather to how miserable their life is. Perhaps, instead of continuing to in things that deplete us, maybe it’s best to remove ourselves from it and focus on things that bring us peace? Even if it’s just temporary. Maybe that friend is a really good person to us, but we need a moment from taking in all the complaints to focus on beauty in the mundane. Maybe we could take a break from refreshing the news, to enjoying how beautiful the leaves look when we transition from summer to fall? Maybe we can replace 10 minutes of scrolling on instagram, fantasizing about having someone else’s life, with journaling about how grateful we are for what we do have. Imagine, how good we would feel if we shift our attention inward and focus on what feels good – to us.
And remember, this doesn’t have to be a one time occurrence. This can happen as frequently as we need to. We have to be more intentional, and stern, about reclaiming our peace and removing ourselves to do so. And yes, we have to be a little selfish.
My daughter and I spent 15s minutes after reading, debriefing and unpacking the messages and illustrations in “The Good Egg”. I tried my best to explain to her the importance of self care, and I’m hoping she not only learns this message, but practices it, as early as possible. And I’m grateful that she was exposed to a concept at this age, as it’s something that took me practically 30 years to learn.
And to all the children’s book authors out there, keep doing the good work. And I will no longer judge my daughter’s book choices. This experience also reminded me of how blessed it is to be a parent, and to constantly be learning and evolving from, and with, your child.
Take care.
For Women With Dreams 