Women Who Leave

The most important marriage, is the one you have with your self love.

Last Friday, the internet was in shambles once the news broke. Okay, saying the whole internet is a stretch, but a lot of people were devastated when they heard that social media’s beautiful couple, Kristy and Desmond Scott were seeking a divorce. Some social media pages and articles including TMZ shared that Kristy sought out the divorce with the reason being infidelity and deemed the marriage irreconcilable.

My point here isn’t to discuss their divorce, as I am certainly wishing them and their family well and healing during this time. Instead, I found the responses (of course, in the comments) to the news a topic for discussion. There were some debates in the comments arguing that couples should try to make it work regardless, for the sake of the children. There were others in the comments praising Kristy for leaving, as sometimes that can be hard for women to do. And there were others comments mentioning everything in between. I do however, want to highlight the interesting times we are in where we are witnessing women choose themselves and an outpour of either support or similar stories from other women.

There were times, and generations, where women have chose themselves AND there were also times, many times, where generations of women have stayed in unhealthy relationships for either the sake of the children, or financial security. Again, not speaking on their particular case, and instead speaking of the countless stories where mothers, grandmothers, and great grandmothers have shared about staying in relationships where they were mentally checked out, but felt they had to. And the impacts that has had on their mental health, happiness, and overall quality of life (spoiler alert, the impacts aren’t pretty.)

While we sometimes see women get praise, we also see them get ridiculed. We’ve seen similar responses recently with Cardi B, Teyana Taylor, and even Ciara. Regardless of anyone’s circumstance, it takes courage and a lot of self respect to choose yourself, and your peace when you feel your marriage, and your partner, has compromised that.

I say all this to say, for any woman, who feels betrayed, unhappy, disrespected, and the like in a marriage and a relationship — choose your peace. Whatever that may look like for you. If that looks like reconciliation, do that. If that looks like leaving, do that too. Regardless, it’s important to know, that YOU must be at peace and happy first before you can pour out into anyone else. Whether that’s your kids, or your partner. So if you ever have to make a hard decision, similar to this, always choose what would make you feel fulfilled first. People will talk, and have opinions regardless, but what matters most is that you make your own decisions because at the end of the day, its your life.

Sending love, peace, and hope to all the women out there in any situation where they are uncertain of what to choose. And if you ever find yourself at a crossroad, may you always choose yourself.